scary jokes jokes

Q: What is a ghost's favourite day of the week?
A: Frightday!

Q: Where do Chinese vampires come from?
A: Fanghai!

Q: Why did the skeleton pupil stay late at school?
A: He was boning up for his exams!

Q: How do you join the Dracula fan club?
A: Send your name, address and blood group!

Q: What do you call a stupid skeleton?
A: Bonehead!

Q: What does the postman deliver to vampires?
A: Fang mail!

Q: What happened to the skeleton who stayed by the fire too long?
A: He became bone dry!

A witch joke
What is old and ugly and goes beep beep?
A witch in a traffic jam!

A witch joke
What happened to the witch with an upside down nose?
Every time she sneezed her hat blew off!

A witch joke
What happened when the baby witch was born?
It was so ugly its parents ran away from home!

A witch joke
What is old and ugly and can see just as well from both ends?
A witch with a blindfold!

A witch joke
What kind of music do witches play on the piano?
Hag-time!

A witch joke
What does a witch do if her broom is stolen?
She calls the flying squad!

A witch joke
Why did the witch wear yellow stockings?
Because her grey ones were at the cleaners!

A wizard joke
Why did the wizard wear a yellow robe to the Halloween party?
He was going as a banana!

A wizard joke
What do wizards do to get their kicks?
They drool over the pictures in "witch" magazine!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who lies on the floor?
Matt!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard who has fallen into the sea on a barrel?
Bob!

A wizard joke
What must a wizard be to receive a state funeral?
Dead!

A wizard joke
What would happen if you threw lots of eggs at a wizard?
He would be egg-sterminated!

A wizard joke
What happened when the wizard turned a boy into a hare?
He's still rabbiting on about it!

A wizard joke
What happened to the stupid wizard who put in his false teeth back to front?
He ate himself!

A wizard joke
What do you call a wizard lying in the gutter?
Dwayne!

A witch joke
Why do witches have stiff joints?
They get broomatism!

A wizard joke
What happened to the wizard who brushed his teeth with gunpowder?
He kept shooting his mouth off!

A witch joke
What's evil and ugly and goes up and down all day?
A witch stuck in a lift!

A witch joke
Why didn't the witch sing at the concert?
Because she had a frog in her throat!

A witch joke
What do you get if you cross a witch and an iceberg?
A cold spell!