Anti Joke jokes

A duck walks into a bar with a rabbi on his head.

"What's the deal?" the bartender asks.

The duck says, "It's opposite day."

A pancake that has fallen on the kitchen floor and you are very hungry for a pancake, but when you pick the pancake up you find the gooey syrup and the creamy butter are like flypaper and so your spongey, yummy pancake is covered in lint, dustmites, a splotch of still-moist mustard from the night before, a broken match, a dirty fingernail, and of course millions of squirming, pulsing bacteria. Also: the pancake now smells like bellybutton, so you puke. But your stomach is empty so you dry heave, and now the pancake is covered in your early morning bile. Anyway, you're so hungry so you eat the pancake.

Man, that is totally gross.

"Mommy, the kids all say we're aliens from outer space. That's not true, is it?"

"Vegl dibrogmrn di shtrtl mixtor!"

Q. How many lawyer jokes are there?

A. Three...the rest are all true.