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scary jokes


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A cannibal joke
How did the cannibal turn over a new leaf?
He became a vegetarian!

A cannibal joke
What happened when the cannibal bit off a missionary's ear?
He had his first taste of Christianity!

A ghost joke
When can't you bury people who live opposite a graveyard?
When they're not dead!

A ghost joke
How did the glamorous ghoul earn her living?
She was a cover ghoul!

A ghost joke
What do you call a prehistoric ghost?
A terror-dactyl!

A ghost joke
How do you know that you are talking to a undertaker?
By his grave manner!

A demon joke
What is a devils picket line called?
A demonstration!

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A werewolf joke
How do you stop a werewolf chasing you?
Throw a stick and say fetch!

A werewolf joke
How do you know if two werewolves have been in the fridge?
Two pairs of paw prints in the butter!

A vampire joke
What's Dracula's favourite coffee?
Decoffinated!

A werewolf joke
What do you get if you cross a werewolf and a frog?
A creature that can bite you from the other side of the road!

A vampire joke
What do you get if you cross Dracula with Sir Lancelot?
A bite in shining armour!

A werewolf joke
What does it mean if you find a werewolf in the fridge in the morning?
You had some party the night before!

A ghost joke
Where does Sitting Bull's ghost live?
In a creepy teepee!

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A vampire joke
What happened at the vampires race?
It finished neck and neck!

A vampire joke
What's a vampire's favourite drink?
A bloody mary!

A ghost joke
Why did the car stop when it saw a ghost?
It had a nervous breakdown!

A vampire joke
What do vampires sing on New Year's Eve?
"Auld Fang Syne"!

A ghost joke
How do ghosts learn songs?
They read the sheet music!

A vampire joke
Why did Dracula go to the dentist?
He had fang decay!

A witch joke
What's the best way of seeing a witch?
On the television!

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A witch joke
What do baby witches play with?
Deady bears!

A witch joke
How do you make a witch float?
You take two scoops of ice cream, a glass of coke and one witch...!

A witch joke
What does a witch enjoy cooking most?
Gnomelettes!

A witch joke
How do warty witches keep their hair out of place?
With scare spray!

A witch joke
When can you tell when witches are carrying a time bomb?
You can hear their brooms tick!

A witch joke
Why are witches fingernails never longer than 11 inches?
Because if they were 12 inches they'd be a foot!

A witch joke
What do you call a pretty and friendly witch?
A failure!


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