funny one liners jokes

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funny one liners


business one-liners 28
 
 
People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it.

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.

People who think they know everything upset those of us who do.

People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

People will buy anything that is one-to-a-customer.

People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.

Perfection is achieved only on the point of collapse.

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

business one-liners 33
 
 
Some of it plus the rest of it is all of it.

Some see things as they are and ask 'why?'; I dream of things that never were and ask 'why not?'" - George Bernard Shaw

Someone who thinks logically is a nice contrast to the real world.

Sometimes I think we are alone in the universe. Sometimes I think we are not. In either case, the thought is quite staggering.

Sometimes too much drink is not enough.

Sometimes you're the bird, and sometimes you're the windshield.

Speak softly and own a big, mean doberman.

Stay in with the outs.

Success always occurs in private, and failure in full public view.

Success can be insured only by devising a defense against failure of the contingency plan.

business one-liners 37
 
 
The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket.

The deadline is one week after the original deadline.

The deficiency will never show itself during the test run.

The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.

The difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block can be when you see it.

The difference between art and science is that if something works in art, you don't have to explain why.

The difficulty with a research grant is that if you solve the problem, you're out of a job.

The early bird who catches the worm usually works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

The early worm deserves the bird.

The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change.

business one-liners 48
 
 
There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrnog.

There is no job so simple that it cannot be done wrrong.

There is no limit to how bad things can get.

There is no limit to the amount of good that people can accomplish, if they don't care who gets the credit.

There is no problem a good miracle can't solve.

There is no problem so large that it cannot be solved by the application of a correctly chosen thermonuclear device.

There is no safety in numbers, or in anything else.

There is no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.

There is no such thing as a "dirty capitalist", only a capitalist.

There is no such thing as instant experience.

There is no time like the present for postponing what you ought to be doing.


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