funny one liners jokes

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funny one liners


news headlines 03
 
 
Two Sisters Reunited after 18 Years in Checkout Counter

Two Soviet Ships Collide, One Dies

Killer Sentenced to Die for Second Time in 10 Years

Never Withhold Herpes Infection from Loved One

Drunken Drivers Paid $1000 in `84

Safety Experts Say School Bus Passengers Should Be Belted

Miners Refuse to Work after Death

If Strike isn't Settled Quickly, It May Last a While

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures

Ban On Soliciting Dead in Trotwood

business one-liners 25
 
 
Everybody should believe in something, I believe I'll have another beer.

Everybody's gotta be someplace.

Everyone breaks more than the seven-year-bad-luck allotment to cover rotten luck throughout an entire lifetime.

Everyone has a scheme for getting rich that will not work.

Everyone has a scheme that will not work.

Everyone hits a brick wall now and then; the trick is not to do it with your head.

Everything east of the San Andreas fault will eventually plunge into the Atlantic Ocean.

Everything happens at the same time with nothing in between.

Everything in moderation, including moderation.

Everything is actually everything else, just recycled.

business one-liners 26
 
 
Everything is always done for the wrong reasons.

Everything put together sooner or later falls apart.

Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.

Everything takes longer than you think.

Everything tastes more or less like chicken.

Everything worthwhile is mandatory, prohibited, or taxed.

Everything you know is wrong, but you can be straightened out.

Excellence can be attained if you care more than others think is wise, risk more than others think is safe, dream more than others think is practical, expect more than others think is possible.

Exceptions always outnumber rules.

business one-liners 31
 
 
Real programmers don't grumble about the disadvantages of Fortran when they don't know any other language.

Real programmers don't notch their desks for each completed service request.

Real programmers don't number paragraph names consecutively.

Real programmers print only clean compiles.

Real programmers write readable code, which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.

Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.

Remember the tea kettle; though up to its neck in hot water, it continues to sing.

Repetition does not establish validity.

Roses are red violets are blue, I'm schizophrenic and so am I.

Rule of defactualization: information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.


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