Religion jokes

Yo mama so fat I can stand on her belly and high-five God.

Three men go to a church and ask to be forgiven for their sins. The priest asks the first man what he did. The man replies, "I robbed a bank. " The 2nd man tells the priest he killed a man. The priest says that is really bad and to go drink the holy water and he will be forgiven. The third man starts to laugh, so the priest asks him, "And what sin have you committed?" The third man replies, "I pissed in the holy water"

Yo mama's so stupid, she thinks Tupac Shakur is a Jewish holiday.

The Pope dies and, naturally, goes to heaven where he's met by a reception committee of angels. After a whirlwind tour, The Pope is told that he can enjoy any of the myriad recreations available.

He decides that he wants to read all of the ancient original text of the Holy Scriptures, so he spends the next eon or so learning the languages.

After becoming a linguistic master, he sits down in the library and begins to pour over every version of the Bible, working back from the most recent "Easy Reading" to the original handwritten script.

The angel librarian hears a loud scream, and goes running toward its source only to find the Pope huddled in a chair, shaking and crying.

"The R! They left out the R!"

"What do you mean?" the angel librarian asks.

After collecting his wits, the Pope sobs again, "The word was supposed to be CELEBRATE!"