The stunned priest, replies incredulously, "you did WHAT!"
"I said, I'm 90 years old, and I made love to two eighteen year old women last night for eight hours."
The stern father replies, "boy, I've been waiting all my life for a guy like you. I'm gonna give you a penance like you'll never forget."
To which the voice replies, "Father, you can't give me a penance."
"Why not?" asks the man of the cloth.
"Because I'm Jewish," claims the voice.
The perplexed Father asks, "then why are you telling me?"
"I'm telling everyone!"
Susie said your heart, 'cause you need it to love.
Richie said your head, 'cause you need it to think.
Little Danny raised his hand and the pastor called on him reluctantly. Danny said, "Your feet."
Confused, the pastor asked why.
Danny replied, "I was walking past my mom's room last night and she had her feet in the air and then she screamed, "Oh God, I'm coming!"
'Hello, can I help you?'
'Yes, I'm looking for a car to drive to the Vatican.'
'We have a wide selection, as you can see. As soon as you find one you like, come get me.'
So the Pope looked around and found a really nice sports car. The Pope didn't have his checkbook, so he said he would come back the next day to buy the car.
The next day he came back and the car had pieces cut out all over the place. 'What did you do to my car?!' the Pope yelled.
'I was just trying to make it holy for you.'
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