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the 11th commandment
 
 
During a recent staff meeting in Heaven, God, Moses, and Saint Peter concluded that the behavior of Ex-President Clinton has brought about the need for an eleventh commandment.

They worked long and hard in a brain-storming session to try to settle on the wording of the new commandment, because they realized that it should have the same style, majesty and dignity as the original ten. They began their brain-storming and came up with the 11th.

After many revisions, they finally agreed that the eleventh commandment should be:

"Thou shalt not comfort thy rod with thy staff."

why can't skeletons play music in ...
 
 
Q: Why can't skeletons play music in church?

A: Because they've got no organs.

e-vil
 
 
A woman arrives at the Pearly Gates and finds St. Peter is not there, but a computer terminal is sitting next to the arch.

She walks up to it and sees, "Welcome to www.Heaven.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue."

She doesn't have either, but underneath the fields is a small line reading:

"Forgot your ID or Password? Click Here." So she does.

Up pops a screen that reads, "Please enter at least two of the following, and your pasword and ID will be e-mailed to you." The fields included "Name," "Date of birth," "Date of death," and "Favorite Food."

The woman enters her name and date of birth, and clicks "Submit."

Up pops another screen that reads, "We are sorry, we did not find a match in our database. Would you like to register?" So the woman clicks the button marked "Yes."

A long and detailed form appears on the screen, and the woman spends some time filling it out. Then she clicks the "Submit" button.

Now she is faced with a screen reading, "We are sorry, this service is temporarily unavailable. Please try again later."

There is a button marked "Back." She clicks it.

A new page appears.

It reads, "Welcome to www.Purgatory.com. Please enter your User ID and Password to continue..."

did you hear about the dyslexic devil...
 
 
Did you hear about the dyslexic devil worshipper?

He sold his soul to Santa.


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