funny one liners jokes

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funny one liners


business one-liners 23
 
 
Don't stop to stomp on ants when the elephants are stampeding.

Don't try to have the last word; you might get it.

Don't worry about the sand in the Vaseline, they don't use it anyway.

Due to recent budget cuts and downsizing, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off.

Each problem solved introduces a new unsolved problem.

Eagles may soar, free and proud, but weasels never get sucked into jet engines.

Early to rise and early to bed makes a man healthy and wealthy and dead.

Easiest way to figure the cost of living: take your income and add ten percent.

Eat the rich. The poor are tough and stringy.

Efficiency is a highly developed form of laziness.

business one-liners 28
 
 
People who complain about the way the ball bounces usually dropped it.

People who love sausage and respect the law should never watch either of them being made.

People who think they know everything upset those of us who do.

People will accept your idea much more readily if you tell them Benjamin Franklin said it first.

People will believe anything if you whisper it.

People will buy anything that is one-to-a-customer.

People with narrow minds usually have broad tongues.

Perfection is achieved only on the point of collapse.

Performance is directly affected by the perversity of inanimate objects.

Perhaps your whole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others.

business one-liners 37
 
 
The crucial memorandum will be snared in the out-basket.

The deadline is one week after the original deadline.

The deficiency will never show itself during the test run.

The dictionary is the only place where success comes before work.

The difference between a stepping stone and a stumbling block can be when you see it.

The difference between art and science is that if something works in art, you don't have to explain why.

The difficulty with a research grant is that if you solve the problem, you're out of a job.

The early bird who catches the worm usually works for someone who comes in late and owns the worm farm.

The early worm deserves the bird.

The easier it is to do, the harder it is to change.

business one-liners 72
 
 
If you have something to do, and you put it off long enough, chances are someone else will do it for you.

If you have to ask, you are not entitled to know.

If you just try long enough and hard enough, you can always manage to boot yourself in the posterior.

If you keep anything long enough, you can throw it away.

If you keep saying things are going to be bad, you have a chance of being a prophet.

If you live in a country run by committee, be on the committee.

If you make people think they're thinking, they'll love you; but if you really make them think they'll hate you.

If you mess with a thing long enough, it will break.

If you plan to leave your mark in the sands of time, you better wear work shoes.

If you put it off long enough, it might go away.


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