Lawyer jokes

A man reluctantly attends his laywer's funeral expecting to be one of the one people there, and is suprised to see a huge turnout for this one terrible man. He turns to the people around him.

"Why are you all at this lawyer's funeral?" he asks.

A man turns towards him and says, "We're all clients."

"And you ALL came to pay your respects?"

"No, we came to make sure he was really dead."

What do you call a lawyer who doesn't know the law?
A judge.

Two lawyers, Jon and Amanpreet, head out for their usual 9 holes of golf. Jon offers Amanpreet a $50 bet. Amanpreet agrees and they're off. They shoot a great game. After the 8th hole, Amanpreet is ahead by one stroke, but cuts his ball into the rough on the 9th.

'Help me find my ball. Look over there,' he says to Jon. After a few minutes, neither has any luck. Since a lost ball carries a four point penalty, Amanpreet secretly pulls a ball from his pocket and tosses it to the ground. 'I've found my ball!' he announces.

'After all of the years we've been partners and playing together," Jon says, "you'd cheat me out of a lousy 50 bucks?'

'What do you mean, cheat? I found my ball sitting right there!'

'And you're a liar, too!' Jon says. 'I'll have you know I've been STANDING on your ball for the last five minutes!'