Lawyer jokes

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the clever lawyer

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:

"My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb."

"Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses."

The defendant smiled. And, with his lawyer's assistance, he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench and walked out.

duck, duck, lawyer
What can a goose do that a duck can't but a lawyer should?

Shove its bill up its ass!
degrees of the law
What do you call a lawyer who doesn't know the law?
A judge.
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