legalese
Definition of a Lawyer: A person who puts two men into a fight and runs off with their clothes.
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oooolllllld lawyer
A lawyer died and arrived at the pearly gates. To his dismay, there were thousands of people ahead of him in line to see St. Peter. To his surprise, St. Peter left his desk at the gate and came down the long line to where the lawyer was, and greeted him warmly.
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Then St. Peter and one of his assistants took the lawyer by the hands and guided him up to the front of the line, and into a comfortable chair by his desk.
The lawyer said, "I don't mind all this attention, but what makes me so special?"
St. Peter replied, "Well, I've added up all the hours for which you billed your clients, and by my calculation you must be about 193 years old!"
lawyer vs. hooker
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?
A: A hooker will stop trying to screw you once you're dead.
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A: A hooker will stop trying to screw you once you're dead.
c'mere pig
What do you get when you cross a lawyer and a pig?
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Nothing. There are some things even a pig won't do!
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