Lawyer jokes

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Lawyer


heavenly help
 
 
Betty & Tim were killed in an auto accident on the eve of their wedding. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter met them. They asked if they could still be married in Heaven.
"Well, let me find out if this is possible. Stay here and I will be right back."
Six months passed and finally Peter returned.
"Yes, we can do this for you."
"Well, as we have spent so much time together waiting for your answer, we need to know that if things don't work out there's a possibility that we could be divorced?' To which St. Peter answered "It took me six months to find a priest up here...how long do you think it will take me to find a lawyer?"
practice
 
 
What do you call parachuting lawyers?

Skeet.

what do you call?
 
 
What do you call a bus full of lawyers going over a cliff with three empty seats?

A total waste of space!

the lawyer has an accident
 
 
A lawer just got home from work. As he stepped out of his BMW, a speeding car ripped off the door. As the lawyer jumped up and down cussing and swearing, a cop who was driving by stopped. He rolled down the window and said, “What's wrong?”

The lawyer replied, “That idiot, speeding down the street, ripped off my BMW's door!”

The cop said, “You lawyers make me sick. You worry too much about your possesions. If you weren't blinded by greed, you would notice that your arm got ripped off!”

“Oh no!” cried the lawyer, “My Rolex!”


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