Lawyer jokes

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in a murder trial...

In a murder trial, the defense attorney was cross-examining the coroner:

Attorney: Before you signed the death certificate, had you taken the pulse?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you listen to the heart?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: Did you check for breathing?

Coroner: No.

Attorney: So, when you signed the death certificate, you weren't sure the man was dead, were you?

Coroner: Well, let me put it this way. The man's brain was sitting in a jar on my desk. But I guess it's possible he could be out there practicing law somewhere.

lawyer vs. hooker
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a hooker?

A: A hooker will stop trying to screw you once you're dead.
lawyers in lust
Two lawyers are walking down the street, when a beautiful woman walks by.
"Boy, I'd like to screw her," says one lawyer.
"I agree," says the other.

"But out of what?"

shark attack
Why won't sharks attack lawyers?

Professional courtesy.

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