A Harvard and Yale Law grad met in a washroom during a law convention.
The Harvard graduate said, "Didn't they teach you to wash your hands at Yale?"
The Yale grad responded, "They taught us not to piss on our hands."
Q: Santa Claus, the tooth fairy, an honest senator and an old drunk are walking down the street together when they simultaneously spot a hundred dollar bill. Who gets it?
A: The old drunk, of course; the other three don't exist.