movie theater mayhem!
A man was sprawled across three entire seats in a theater. When the usher came by and noticed this, he whispered to the man, "Sorry sir, but you're only allowed one seat."
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The man groaned but didn't budge. The usher became impatient.
"Sir," the usher said, "if you don't get up from there, I'm going to have to call the manager."
Again, the man just groaned, which infuriated the usher who turned and marched briskly back up the aisle in search of his manager. In a few moments, both the usher and the manager returned and stood over the man. Together the two of them tried repeatedly to move him, but with no success. Finally, they summoned the police. The cop surveyed the situation briefly.
"All right, buddy. What's your name?"
"Sam," the man moaned.
"Where ya from, Sam?" the cop asked.
"The balcony."
alexander and kermit
What do Alexander the Great and Kermit the Frog have in common?
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Their middle name.
she is so blonde... "soul train"
She is so blonde that she thought she needed a token to get on “Soul Train.”
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redneck jedi ii
You might be a redneck Jedi if you say, "Luke I am your father... and your brother."
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