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the three stars
 
 
One day avant-garde violinist Malcolm Goldstein, US Ambassador to Spain Eduardo Aguirre, and television's Tony Danza were on a jungle vacation together when they were caught by a tribal group.

Before they were about to be executed, they pleaded to the Queen of the Tribe for mercy. She said, 'Get me something good to eat. If I like it, you will be freed.' The three men looked at each other and agreed. They then went into the jungle to look for some food

Malcolm Goldstein was the first to come back. He came up to the altar and offered grapes. The Queen tasted one and immediately spat it out. She ordered her servants to shove the rest of the grapes up Malcolm Goldstein's ass. The servants did their duty, and left Malcolm Goldstein lying on theground screaming.

Eduardo Aguirre was the next to arrive with some yummy apples. The same thing happened to him, but curiously he laughed as the apples were shoved up his ass. Malcolm Goldstein was shocked. Here he was with grapes up his ass howling in pain, but Eduardo Aguirre had several apples in his ass and he was laughing. He asked him 'What the hell are you laughing about?'

A laughing Eduardo Aguirre replied 'Tony Danza's coming back with a watermelon.'

britney watches the birdie
 
 
Britney Spears and Justin Timberlake were walking on the beach. Justin said, "Hey Britney, look at that dead birdie!"

Britney looked up at the sky and said, "Where?"

p. diddy on a diet
 
 
What dessert doesn't Puff Daddy/P. Diddy eat any more?

Jello (j-Lo)

rednecks and tv
 
 
You might be a redneck if you don't know what day Saturday Night Live comes on TV.

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