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elementary, my dear jerkface
 
 
Sherlock Holmes and Watson were walking through a park, when they passed three women, eating bananas.

"Good evening, ladies," said Sherlock. After they passed, Watson asked if he knew those women.

"No, Watson, I didn't know that nun, prostitute, or bride." Baffled, Watson asks how he knew their identities.

"Elementary, my dear Watson. The nun was eating the banana by breaking it into small pieces. The prostitute was shoving the banana into her mouth. And the bride was holding the banana with one hand and forcing her head down with the other."

hogwarts expulsion
 
 
Why was Harry Potter kicked out of Hogwarts?

He was caught playing with his broomstick.

ally mcbeal
 
 
Q: How do you know that Calista Flockhart (Ally McBeal) doesn't exist?

A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds!
e.t.
 
 
Q: What's E.T. short for?

A: Because he has little legs!


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