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* Wahlberg's neglect in removing his shirt through the entire film reveals his kinship with the teen demographic: BACKNE SUFFERERS.
* Fox Marketing Department determined that the ideal garment for a young ape's human pet is a peach-colored dress.
* All inflamed baboon buttocks in the film were edited out.
* Most extras were actually disgruntled gorillas out of work since the movie "Congo."
* Kris Kristofferson's surly acting style is a result of the neverending pain of "Millenium"'s failure at the box office.
* The imagery of the Ape army's red tents taken straight from biblical writings dealing with how women were separated from the tribe during their periods. (Charlton Heston's idea.)
* Helena Bonham Carter's clothing came under-budget through some seamstress' creativity and Rue McClanahan's wardrobe. Her wildly trendy haircut however, accounted for %15 of the film's budget.
* According to ape acting union, the "Ape" Lincoln Memorial had to be scrubbed down with monkey feces in order to get rid of foul human odor.
Submitted by: David J. Bleecker
E-mail: DBLEEKER@nyc.rr.com
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He was caught playing with his broomstick.
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Titanic: $9.99 on the Internet
Clinton: $9.99 on the Internet
Titanic: over 3 hours long
Clinton: over 3 hours long
Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose,
their forbidden love, a subsequent catastrophe
Clinton: The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, a subsequent
catastrophe
Titanic: villain - White Star Line
Clinton: villain - Ken Starr
Titanic: Jack is a starving artist
Clinton: Bill is a B.S. artist
Titanic: In one part, Jack enjoys a good
cigar
Clinton: Ditto for Bill
Titanic: During ordeal, Rose's dress
gets ruined
Clinton: Ditto for Monica
Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit
Clinton: Let's not go there
Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelry
Clinton: Monica forced to return her gifts
Titanic: Behind the scenes, Leonardo
DiCaprio is wildly popular
Clinton: Behind the scenes, Bill has a 70% approval rating
Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death
Clinton: Bill goes home to Hillary
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A: Because the camera adds 10 pounds!
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