Religion jokes

Once there was a church that had a bell that no one could ring. One day, a boy came and asked the priest if he could try. So the boy went up into the tower and ran straight into the bell, face-first. The bell tolled loud and clear. The shocked priest gave him the job. But one Sunday, he ran straight toward the bell with his face and missed and fell off the tower and died.

"Congregation," the priest said before the assembled masses. "Does anybody know this boy's name? Because I don't know him, but his face rings a bell."

What's the difference between a nun on her knees in a church, and a woman on her knees in a bathtub?

The nun has hope in her soul and the woman has soap in her hole.

George W. Bush was getting off of Airforce One in Israel, when he walked passed Moses, who didn't seem to notice him. He turned to Moses and said, "I am George W. Bush, the President of the US of A, the most powerful nation on earth. Why didn't you greet me?"

Moses replied, "The last time I spoke to a bush, we starved for 40 days!"

A man came in to heaven and God wanted to go on a vacation so he asked the man to take over while he was away. God told the man to give everyone a test before letting them into heaven. God leaves and a man comes floating up and says, 'Please let me in to heaven.'

The other man says, 'I have to give you a test first.'

The man coming into heaven says, 'Oh jeez I'm not too good at tests!'

The other man says, 'Spell LOVE' The man spells it, and he is let into heaven.

Then a woman comes floating up and says, 'Please let me into heaven,' and the man replies, 'Only if you pass this test.'

The woman says, 'Oh no, I'm not very good at tests.'

The man says, 'Your test is to spell LOVE.'

She spells it correctly, and is let into heaven.

The next person that comes floating up is the man's wife. She says, 'OK honey, let me in to heaven.'

The man says, 'I have to give everyone a test before I let them in to heaven.'

She says, 'OK, make it an easy one!!!'

Then the man says, 'Spell Hemorrhoid.'