Religion jokes

10. Sometimes stays in bed till after 6 am.

9. In his sock drawer, you find pictures of women without bonnets.

8. Shows up at barn raisings in full "Kiss" makeup.

7. When you criticize him, he yells, "Thou sucketh!"

6. His name is Jebediah, but he goes by "Jeb Daddy."

5. Defiantly says, "If I had a radio, I'd listen to disco!."

4. You come upon his secret stash of colorful socks.

3. Uses slang expression: "Talk to the hand, cause the beard ain't listening."

2. Was recently pulled over for "driving under the influence of cottage cheese."

1. He's wearing his big black hat backwards.

Three nuns decided to quit so they went to the Mother Superior and said, "We don't want to be nuns anymore, how do we quit?" The mother told them, "Do something unholy and come back here in 24 hours." So the nuns left thinking, "What can I do that's unholy?"

The next day they went to the mother one at a time. The mother said tot he first nun, "What unholy thing did you do?" and the nun said "I stole a kid's bike." The mother said, "I guess that will do, go drink some holy water. When the nun did she wasn't a nun anymore and she left the convent.

The second nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The nun replied, "I slept with a married man!" The mother said, "Well, that's sinning. Go drink holy water."

The third nun walked in and the mother said, "What unholy thing did you do?" The third nun said proudly, "I pissed in the holy water!"

One Friday night in San Fransisco, a man hops a bus to go home. To his surprise, he sees a very good-looking nun in the back of the bus. He goes to the back of the bus and sits right in front of her. After about 5 minutes pass before he turns around and starts flirting with her. After about 10 minutes, he suggests that they get a drink and then maybe go to his place. The nun is scandalized and orders the man to leave her alone.
The man's stop finally came and he got up furiously and started walking away. On his way out, the bus driver asks him in a high-pitched voice what his problem is. He tells the bus driver about the nun and how she won't go out with him. The bus driver tells him that he could dress up as Jesus and tell her that, for the sake of her religion, she has to have sex with him. The bus driver says he can even tell her where she lives and that she usually prays late into the night.The man thanks the bus driver, but got off the bus wondering why a gay bus driver would care so much about his problems.
Later that night, the man goes to her house dressed up as Jesus. He walks in and sees her praying on a tiny little pew. She sees him and looks shocked. The man, as Jesus, tells her if she wants to go to heaven, she must have sex with him first. The nun says okay, but she'll only do it up the rear because of her religous beliefs. The guy does so.
After he's done, the guy pulls of his Jesus mask and says “HA! I am the guy from the bus!” The nun then pulls off her mask and says, “HA! I am the bus driver.”

Why did God create man before woman?

He needed a rough draft before he had a final copy.