Entertainment jokes

Britney Spears had just bought her new car and decided to go shopping with her friend and rival, Christina Aguilera. A few hours later she came out and realizes she had locked her keys in the car, so they spent a few hours pacing around the car trying to figure out what to do.

Finally, Britney looked off into the distance and saw storm cloud. She turned to her friend and said," Quick, think of something because a storm is coming and I left the top open!"

Q: What's E.T. short for?

A: Because he has little legs!

When Mozart passed away, he was buried in a churchyard. A couple days later, the town drunk was walking through the cemetery and heard some strange noise coming from the area where Mozart was buried.

Terrified, the drunk ran and got the town magistrate to come and listen to it.

When the magistrate arrived, he bent his ear to the grave, listened for a moment, and said, "Ah, yes, that's Mozart's Ninth Symphony, being played backwards."

He listened a while longer, and said, "There's the Eighth Symphony, and it's backwards, too. Most puzzling."

So the magistrate kept listening; "There's the Seventh... the Sixth... the Fifth..."

Suddenly the realization of what was happening dawned on the magistrate; he stood up and announced to the crowd that had gathered in the cemetery, "My fellow citizens, there's nothing to worry about. It's just Mozart decomposing."

Q: What do you get if you cross a bear with a toilet?

A: Winnie the Pooh!