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recent cartoon rejects
 
 
The Top Recently Rejected Saturday Morning Cartoons

  1. "Billy, the Homicidal Smurf."

  2. "Scooby and Shaggy Go To The Retirement Home."

  3. "Archie, the Abcessed Tooth."

  4. "Yosemite Sam...UNCENSORED!"

  5. "The Golden Girls meet The Power Rangers."

  6. "Da Boys in Mister Rogers Neighborhood."

  7. "The Land of The Lost...The Barney Years."

  8. "COPS" in full color animation!

flying on a bad airline
 
 
The Top 10 Signs You're Flying On A Bad Airline

  1. The engine's being held on by duct tape.

  2. You see the Gorilla from those old Samsonite commercials running loose up and down the aisles.

  3. In-flight movie has "Ernest" in its title.

  4. Pilot informs you that you're at cruising altitude and he's gonna put the top down.

  5. Instead of Peanuts, you get a healthy helping of SPAM.

  6. As you're taking off, the stewardess mentions the phrase "Guest Pilot Program"

  7. The seats are wet due to flotation device moisture.

  8. The stewardess asks you to join the Mile High Club..."she" has a beard and bigger arms than you!

  9. Pilot asks if there is anyone else who wants a shot of Beam before he finishes the bottle.

  10. You look down and see a copy of "Fixing a Plane for Dummies" by the mechanic's feet!!!

fun giving your blood
 
 
by Tina Mancuso and Paul Coen
10. Watch the bag fill.

9. Hyperventilate.

8. Pull the tube out of the bag and drink from it.

7. Race to see who fills their bag first (requires two or more people).

6. Puncture the bag near the top and see whether they pull the needle out of your arm before the blood squirts out.

5. While they're not looking, substitute a bag of orange liquid and complain they gave you too much Tang.

4. Insist that you want to give 2 pints.

3. Faint.

2. Tell them you saw the bag twitch.

1. Yell, "Hey, you used that needle on the last guy!"

never hear a man say
 
 
Things You'll Never Hear A Man Say:

  1. Here honey, you use the remote.

  2. You know, I'd like to see her again, but her breasts are just too big.

  3. Ooh, Antonio Banderas AND Brad Pitt? That's one movie I gotta see!

  4. While I'm up, can I get you anything?

  5. Honey since we don't have anything else planned, will you go to the wallpaper store with me?

  6. Why don't you go to the mall with me and help me pick out a pair of shoes?

  7. Aww, forget Monday night football, Let's watch Melrose Place.

  8. Hey let me hold your purse while you try that on.

  9. We never talk anymore


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