funny answering machine messages jokes

Beethoven's Fifth:

Nobody's home.

Why did you phone?

Please leave your message here when you have heard the tone,

And we will call you back as soon as we get home.

Your message here,

After the tone,

Here is the tone... tone... BEEP

I once had a little white phone,

That would ring when it was alone.

Then I got a tape,

For when I escape,

So please leave your name at the tone.

Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love":

And I would do anything for calls,

I promise I will call you back;

I would do anything for calls,

But I can't talk right now and that's a fact.

I'm not home right now, so I just can't answer the phone,

No way,

But I would do anything for calls,

Oh, I would do anything for calls!

Just let me know who it was who called,

And I'll call you back!

Yes, I'll call you back!

Just leave a message at the tone,

I'll hear it when I get back home,

And I will call -- you -- back!

Hello, this is the Brown residence. We're in the middle of a family fight right now. Leave your name and number at the beep and whoever wins will call you right back.