funny answering machine messages jokes

"Under the Boardwalk":

Oh, when you call our room,

and all you get is a machine,

and then you get so upset,

you feel as if you want to scream.

Please leave a message

after the be-ep.

And John or Tom will get back you,

as soon as they can.

"The Check is in the Mail" by Weird Al Yankovich:

Well hey how you doin'? Have a seat have a drink,

Boy it's good to see you what can I say,

Oh sorry got to run we'll get together again,

Say what was your name anyway?

Well we're working on the problem --

We'll get back to you soon,

Don't try to call me I'll be in a meeting every afternoon for a year, maybe longer, keep in touch, thanks for dropping by and have a nice day.

My time is billed at $125 per hour. Please begin your message with your MasterCard or Visa number, card type, and date of expiration. I'll get back to you pending credit approval.

(Recorded directly from AT&T:) We're sorry, but the number you dialed is disconnected or no longer in service.