funny answering machine messages jokes

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funny answering machine messages


answering message 148
 
 
Hi. This is David. I've shut the ringers off on my phones and taken a sedative. As soon as I finish this recording I'm going to bed indefinitely. When I wake up, I'll play my messages. Please leave one.

answering message 163
 
 
After the tone, leave your name, number, and tell where you left the money. I'll get back to you as soon as it's safe for you to come out of hiding.

answering message 156
 
 
Hi, I'm not home because I've gone on a BLOODY RAMPAGE! When I get home, and CLEAN OFF THE BLOOD, I'll be sure to give you a call. If I haven't ALREADY COME OVER, that is. (Coughing loony laughter.)

answering message 162
 
 
Shhh! Don't talk, just listen! Meet me at the corner of Broad and Main and bring the girl. (CLICK)


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