funny answering machine messages jokes

John: Brad, will you get the phone?

Brad: (Sound of frantically clattering keyboard.) I can't! I'm playing Omega!

John: Ambar, will you get the phone?

Ambar: I can't! I'm late for work! (Sound of slamming door.)

John: Aimee, will you get the phone?

Aimee: (Sound of running water.) I can't! I'm in the shower!

John: Glenn, will you get the -- (disgusted) Ah, Glenn's in Denver. Please leave a message.

Due to the large number of complaints regarding the length of our previous answering machine message, we made a few changes. Very fast: Hi, this is 904-4344. If you want to leave a message, please wait for the tone. If you want to leave your name and number, please press pound, press 3, then dial your name, then press 6 and dial your number. If you want to leave your name and just a message, press star, press 6, ask for extension 4443, then leave your name and message. If you want to leave your number and the time you called, please press star twice, spin in a circle, press 1 twice, talk loud and BEEP

(Oriental voice:) Hello, you have reached honorable Chan's residence. I, Kato, will go and get honorable Chan. (Godzilla scream.) Oh no! Godzilla coming! Please leave name and number at gong and Chan will call back if house still here.

Hello, you have reached 555-1234. Our voice mail system is currently experiencing difficulties, so at the tone, please type your message on the keypad using the appropriate letters, and press the pound sign when finished.