funny answering machine messages jokes

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funny answering machine messages


answering message 99
 
 
Beethoven's Fifth:

Nobody's home.

Why did you phone?

Please leave your message here when you have heard the tone,

And we will call you back as soon as we get home.

Your message here,

After the tone,

Here is the tone... tone... BEEP

answering message 107
 
 
I once had a little white phone,

That would ring when it was alone.

Then I got a tape,

For when I escape,

So please leave your name at the tone.

answering message 92
 
 
Meat Loaf's "I'd Do Anything For Love":

And I would do anything for calls,

I promise I will call you back;

I would do anything for calls,

But I can't talk right now and that's a fact.

I'm not home right now, so I just can't answer the phone,

No way,

But I would do anything for calls,

Oh, I would do anything for calls!

Just let me know who it was who called,

And I'll call you back!

Yes, I'll call you back!

Just leave a message at the tone,

I'll hear it when I get back home,

And I will call -- you -- back!

answering message 106
 
 
Hitchhikers Guide theme: The Cerius Cybernetic Corporation was happy to correct the problem of all that icky person-to-person conversation that happens when people actually pick up the phone and talk to each other. So they added the "answering machine," which will cleverly record your message and play it back at the wrong speed, to make everyone who calls you sound like they have partaken a large supply of helium. Unless your message is REALLY important, in which case, the machine simply breaks its own tape, to insure that you never get the message at all. It would be a shame to waste all this brilliant technology, so please attempt to leave a message.


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