funny answering machine messages jokes

We're sorry. You have reached an imaginary number. Please rotate your phone 90 degrees and try again.

Hello, this is your local zoo. Do you like animals? We are experiencing severe problems with hot water. Would you be so kind as to allow us to bring our elephants over to your bathroom for a shower? (The most common response: "Well, sure, but my neighbor's bathroom is bigger and better equipped to handle elephants.")

Bridge, Kirk here.

Madonna's "Justify My Love"; sultry voice:

Wanting...

Waiting...

For you,

To justify your call...