well, how do i look?
The Top Bad Response For Guys To Give To The "How Do I Look" Question
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- "That's a great outfit honey but Halloween was 6 weeks ago."
- "I ain't seen a caboose that big since Amtrak left town."
- "Uh-uh, the last time I answered that question, I went temporarily blind."
- "Ssshhh, the games on right now..go look in the mirror, that's what its there for!!"
- "Oh man, I'm gonna lose my lunch."
- "Like the girl I was with yesterday."
- "Like someone in dire need for some liposuction."
- "Well, if I close my eyes, just like my previous, prettier girlfriend."
- "How can I put this...MOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"
heard at a tax office
The Top 10 Things Overheard In A Tax Preparer's Office Prior To The Tax Filing Deadline
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- No sir, the government does not want you to pay your taxes in pennies.
- I have a hard time believing that a garbage collector made $150,000 last year so for the last time, DID YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SOURCE OF INCOME!!!
- How cute... a tax form done in crayon.
- No sir, its do your taxes every year and renew your driver's license every 4 years, not the other way around.
- Just because you talk to your plants ma'am, you cannot, repeat CANNOT list them as your dependants.
- No Ms Lewinsky, your oval office "contributions" are not the same as when you check the dollar box at the top of your 1040 form.
- Even if you are a hooker, the number of orgasms you've had cannot count as a business expense.
- I'm sorry, I'm not sure I follow your "Give me an extension and I'll give you an extension later at my place" argument.
- I take it that because you have decided to do origami with your tax form that you're not receptive to paying your taxes this year.
- Just remember the IRS motto, buddy: Screw us now, we'll screw you later!!
good to be french
Top reasons why it's great to be French
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- Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
- You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
- If there's a war you can surrender really early
- You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
- You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
- You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
- Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
- People think you're a great lover even when you're not
halloween handouts
The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts
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- Spinach flavored Rice Cakes.
- Teeth removing Taffy
- Metamucil in a straw
- Ex-Lax Brownies
- Caramel Covered Zucchini
- Colored Crisco on a Stick
- Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts
- Chocolate Covered Prunes
- A Handful of Red Man
- Anything that ticks!
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