you have a boring job
The Top Signs That You Have A Boring Job
 |
|
|
|
|
 | ||||
- You're introduced to everyone as "The Minesweeper God".
- You have visited every website in the world.
- You're the Spelling Bee Coordinator in rural Alabama.
- You are the only one that is ready for the rush of ticket sales for that New Kids on the Block reunion tour.
- You're able to pull staples out of papers with your teeth.
- Your doctor says that he's never seen someone exposed to so much photocopier radiation in his life.
- You've seen the late night commercial for the Chia Dildo.
- Your workload is so intense that you can write Top 10 lists all day long.
- In your 10 years on the force as an Amish Traffic Cop, you have not had to write one single speeding ticket.
terrible history teacher
The Top 10 Signs You Have A Bad History Teacher
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
- Constantly gets Indonesia and Outdonesia confused.
- As incentive for learning, when you name a state capital, you get to take a shot.
- Insists that one of Popes during the Roman empire was Pope Bubba.
- Thinks that Mussolini was Hitler's favorite pasta.
- Counts Puerto Rico, Mexico and Canada as "technically" U.S. States.
- Tells you that its Napoleon that's the ice cream that comes in 3 flavors in one box.
- Insists that the Great Depression could have been stopped with the right amount of Lithium.
- Threatens to renact Salem Witch Trials/Burnings if homework is not turned in on time.
- Claims that it was Martin and Lewis that were the great explorers of the West.
- Credits David Hasselhoff and not Democracy for the fall of the Berlin Wall.
heard at a tax office
The Top 10 Things Overheard In A Tax Preparer's Office Prior To The Tax Filing Deadline
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
- No sir, the government does not want you to pay your taxes in pennies.
- I have a hard time believing that a garbage collector made $150,000 last year so for the last time, DID YOU HAVE ANY OTHER SOURCE OF INCOME!!!
- How cute... a tax form done in crayon.
- No sir, its do your taxes every year and renew your driver's license every 4 years, not the other way around.
- Just because you talk to your plants ma'am, you cannot, repeat CANNOT list them as your dependants.
- No Ms Lewinsky, your oval office "contributions" are not the same as when you check the dollar box at the top of your 1040 form.
- Even if you are a hooker, the number of orgasms you've had cannot count as a business expense.
- I'm sorry, I'm not sure I follow your "Give me an extension and I'll give you an extension later at my place" argument.
- I take it that because you have decided to do origami with your tax form that you're not receptive to paying your taxes this year.
- Just remember the IRS motto, buddy: Screw us now, we'll screw you later!!
a relationship is over
The Top Signs That Your Net Relationship Is Over
|
|
|
|
|
| ||||
- All of a sudden, she's typing in a different font.
- Instead of hearing that lovely "You've Got Mail" statement when you use America OnLine, you hear "You Just Got Dumped!"
- Your connection to his server is constantly refused.
- You get a Dear John E-mai...Your name is Fred.
- They no longer have access to a computer due to a recent parole.
- She starts ending each sentence with only 1 exclamation mark instead of the usual 3!!!
- She tells you that she's been working a lot. You think its a professional job; it turns out that she was responsible for the decorations at her Jr High prom!!
- During an intimate moment in a chat room, she reveals herself to be GRANDMA!!
Page 18 of 25 «« Previous | Next »»