good to be french
Top reasons why it's great to be French
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- Yet to experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time
- You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs
- If there's a war you can surrender really early
- You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.
- You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries
- You can be ugly and still become a famous film star
- Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride
- People think you're a great lover even when you're not
halloween handouts
The Top 10 Least Popular Halloween Handouts
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- Spinach flavored Rice Cakes.
- Teeth removing Taffy
- Metamucil in a straw
- Ex-Lax Brownies
- Caramel Covered Zucchini
- Colored Crisco on a Stick
- Hot steaming bowl of pumpkin guts
- Chocolate Covered Prunes
- A Handful of Red Man
- Anything that ticks!
things dad won't say
Things You'll Never Hear A Dad Say
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- Well, how 'bout that?...I'm lost! Looks like we'll have to stop and ask for directions.
- You know Pumpkin, now that you're thirteen, you'll be ready for unchaperoned car dates. Won't that be fun?
- Here's a credit card and the keys to my new car-GO CRAZY.
- What do you mean you wanna play football? Figure skating not good enough for you, son?
- Your mother and I are going away for the weekend...you might want to consider throwing a party.
- Well, I don't know what's wrong with your car. Probably one of those doo-hickey thingies-you know-that makes it run or something. Just have it towed to a mechanic and pay whatever he asks.
- No son of mine is going to live under this roof without an earring now quit your belly-aching, and let's go to the mall.
- Whaddya wanna go and get a job for? I make plenty of money for you to spend.
- Father's Day? Aaahh-don't worry about that-it's no big deal.
tell him that he's stupid
Creative Ways To Say Someone Is Stupid
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- A few crumbs short of a crouton.
- A few clowns short of a circus.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- An experiment in Artificial Stupidity.
- A few beers short of a six-pack.
- A few peas short of a casserole.
- The wheel's spinning, but the hamster's dead.
- One Fruit Loop shy of a full bowl.
- One taco short of a combination plate.
- A few feathers short of a whole duck
- All foam, no beer.
- Body by Fisher, brains by Mattel.
- Couldn't pour water out of a boot with instruc- tions on the heel.
- He fell out of the Stupid tree and hit every branch on the way down.
- An intellect rivaled only by garden tools.
- As smart as bait.
- Chimney's clogged.
- Doesn't have all his dogs on one leash.
- Elevator doesn't go all th eway to the top floor.
- Forgot to pay her brain bill.
- Her sewing machine's out of thread.
- If she had another brain, it would be lonely.
- Missing a few buttons on his remote control.
- Not the sharpest knife in the drawer.
- Has the intelligence of a Carrot.
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