Foreign jokes

Why did the chicken cross the road?

• Plato: for the greater good. • Karl Marx: It was historical inevitability. • Douglass Adams: 42 • Oliver North: National security was at stake. • Darwin: It was the next logical step after coming down from the trees • Earnest Hemmingway: To die. In the rain. • Saddam Hussein: It was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite justified in dropping 50 tonnes of nerve gas on it. • Ronald Regan: I forget. • Jack Nicholson: 'Cause it f-----g wanted to. That's the f----g reason. • Mark Twain: The news of it's crossing has been greatly exagerated. • Mr T: If you saw me coming, you'd cross the road too

Four guys are flying to Japan in their own jet. One's a Texan, one's a Mexican, one's is a French man, and the other is an Englishman. A radio transmission says to throw out all the luggage because there is too much weight to land. So they do. Then they get another transmission that says three will have to jump out because there is still too much weight. So the French man goes to the door and says.' Viva Le France.' and he jumps. The Englishman says,' Long live the King.' and he jumps out. So the Texan and the Mexican go to the door. They look at each other, and the Texan grabs the Mexican and throws him out the door and says,' Remember the Alamo!'

A German woman is walking down the street. Eleven blonde guys walk up and attack her.

She screams, 'Nein! Nein!' So two guys walk away.

Why did the Post Office have to recall its series of stamps depicting famous Frenchmen?

People were confused about which side to spit on