Foreign jokes

Jokes » foreign » jokes 71

Foreign


saddam hussein was sitting down wondering ...
 
 
Saddam Hussein was sitting down wondering who to bomb next, when his phone rang.

"Hello," the voice said. "This is Paddy at the Harp Pub in Ireland, I am ringing you to say me and a couple of me mates are declaring war on you!"

"Well Paddy," replied Saddam, "how big is your army"

"Well lets see there's me, my brother sean, my next door neighbour seamus and the local dart team."

"Ahh" said Saddam. "I must tell you that you are against 1 million men, 16000 tanks and 14000 armoured personnel carriers."

Paddy then hung up....The next day, sure enough, Paddy rung again, "The war is still on Mr. Hussein." Paddy said. "We now have some infantry and equipment."

"What would that be" Saddam asked.

"Well we have 2 combines, a bulldozer, and Father Murpheys Grey Fergy tractor," Paddy replied.

Saddam sighed "Paddy may I tell you that my army has increased to 2 million men since we last spoke."

"I'll get back to ya," Paddy said. Sure enough Paddy rang again, "Right Mr. Hussein, we've modified our two seater Harrigans ultra light plane with a gattling gun, and four boys from the Shamrock Pub have joined us."

Saddam cleared his throat lay back on his chair and said, "Paddy... I have 10000 bombers, 20000 fighter planes, and I am surrounded by surface to air lazer guided missles, and my army has incresed to 2 and a half million men since yesterday."

"Oh" said Paddy, "I'll have to ring ya back"

Paddy called again the next day and said "I'm sorry, but the wars been called off."

"I'm sorry to hear that, why the sudden change of heart?" asked Saddam.

"Well after a discussion over a couple of pints we decided there's no way we could feed two and a half million prisoners"

those polish gourmets
 
 
Q: How come they don't have ice in Poland?

A: Because they lost the recipe.

runny noodle
 
 
This lady is on an airplane and is seated next to a man named Ian McKegney. About half an hour after they take off, Ian sneezed. He calmly opened his fly, took out his penis and wiped it with a handkerchief. The lady was shocked but a little too shy to say anything.

About 15 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and then once more opened his fly, grabbed his penis and wiped it off. The lady could not beleive it, and being to shy to mention it, she thought to herself, "If he does that again, I'm definitely going to mention it."

Well, guess what? About 10 minutes later, Ian sneezed again and proceeded as before. She turned to Ian and said, "That is disgusting! Must you do that in front of me?" Ian apologized and explained that it was a medical condition, "Every time I sneeze, I have an orgasm," he explained.

"Really, what do you take for that?" she asked.

Ian replied, "Pepper."

hit tv shows in iraq
 
 
"Husseinfeld"

"Mad About Everything"

"U.S. Military Secrets Revealed"

"Suddenly Sanctions"

"Children Are Forbidden From Saying Anything Darndest"

"Matima Loves Chachi"

"Buffy The Slayer of Yankee Imperialist Dogs"

"Wheel of Fortune and Terror"

"Iraq's Wackiest Public Execution Bloopers"

"Achmed's Creek"

"The Price is Right If Saddam Says It's Right"

"M*U*S*T*A*S*H"

"Veronica's Closet Full of Long, Black, Shapeless Dresses"

"Two Guys, a Girl, and a Mosque"

"When Kurds Attack"

"Just Shoot Me"

"My Two Baghdads"

"Diagnosis Heresy"

"Everybody Loves Saddam Or He'll Have Them Shot"

"Captured Iranian Soldiers Say the Darndest Things"

"Burka Baywatch"


Page 72 of 75     «« Previous | Next »»