Foreign jokes

A Drunken Night A guy wakes up in a drunken stupor, opening his eyes he sees Claudia Schiffer on the bed next to him. He thinks this is a little odd, as he doesn't remember a thing, let alone going to bed with her. He decides to get up and get himself a drink from the fridge. He gets to the fridge and opens the door and is faced with a large suitcase. He takes the suitcase out of the fridge, puts it on the table and opens it to find $1 Million. This is just a little too much for the guy who thinks he is losing his mind. He wonders if he is hallucinating, so he goes to the window and draws back the blind. Outside on his front lawn is the Klu Klux Klan and dangling from the tree is an open noose, empty. They appear to be beckoning him and shouting.

Now the guy is really freaked out, he quickly draws the blind and turns around.

In the corner of his kitchen is a leprechaun, obviously drunk as well.

He asks the leprechaun what is going on.

"Well," says the leprechaun, "I was drunk last night as well, and as I was crossing the road, I was nearly run down. You ran across the road and pushed me to safety, so I granted you three wishes in return for saving me."

"Well, I can guess the first one" says the guy, "Supermodel, bed, yeah I got that one. What about the other two?"

"The money in the fridge?" says the leprechaun, "You asked for a cool million."

"And them out there?" asks the guy,

"You said you wanted to be hung like a black man."

A frenchman walks into a bar, smiles at the landlord and orders a glass of wine. The frenchie looks about and sees a camel sitting at the bar as well.

The frenchie asks the landlord, "What is that dirty camel doing in here?"

The Landlord pulls a cricket bat out from behind the bar hits the camel in the head and the camel gives the landlord oral pleasure.

The Landlord looks at the frenchie and says "You want a go?" to which the frenchie replies: "Oui, but there is no need to hit me over the head."

A Michigan man was having coffee and croissants with butter and jam in a diner when a Canadian man, chewing gum, sat down next to him. The Michigan man politely ignored the Canadian, who, nevertheless, started up a conversation. The Canadian snapped his gum and said, "You Michigan folk eat the whole bread?"

The Michigan man sighed, annoyed with being bothered during his breakfast, and replied, "Of course."

The Canadian blew a huge bubble. "We don't. In Canada, we only eat what's inside. The crusts we collect in a container, recycle them, transform them into croissants and sell them to Michigan." The Canadian had a smirk on his face.

The Michigan man listened in silence. The Canadian persisted. "D'ya eat jelly with the bread?"

The Michigan man rolled his eyes and replied, "Of course."

Cracking his gum between his teeth, the Canadian said, "We don't. In Canada, we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we put all the peels, seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into jam and sell it to Michigan."

The Michigan man then asked, "Do you have sex in Canada?" The Canadian smiled and said, "Why of course we do." The Michigan leaned closer to him and asked, "And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"

"We throw them away, of course."

The Michigan smiled and said, "We don't. In Michigan, we put them in a container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and sell them to the Canadians."

What do you call a Frenchman with a sheep under one arm and a goat under the other?

A bisexual!