Foreign jokes

Why do women like making love to Greg Norman, the Australian golfer?

Because he always finishes second!

1. The poorest, stupidest, drunkest province in Confederation
2. If Quebec Separates, you will float off to sea
3. In the rare case when someone moves to the Rock, you can make them kiss a dead cod
4. The economy is based on fish, seafood, and fish-related products
5. If you do something stupid, you have a built-in excuse
6. You understand the meaning of Great Big Sea's lyrics
7. The work day is about two hours long
8. You are credited with many great inventions, like the solar-powered flashlight and the screen door for submarines
9. If someone asks if you're from Nova Scotia, you are allowed to kick their ass
10. It is socially acceptable to wear your hip waders on your wedding day

1. Big Rock
2. Preston Manning
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approx. 200 percent
4. The Premier is a fat alcoholic with a grade 4 education
5. Flames vs. Oilers
6. Stamps vs. Eskies
7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
8. Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's
9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups
10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it

Two Americans decide to open a bungee-jumping business in Mexico.

They set up on the square of a small village. Bob jumps, bounces at the end of the cord, and flies back up by the platform. Jeff isn't able to catch his friend, but he notices he has a few cuts and scratches.

Bob falls again, bounces, and comes back up. This time, he is bruised and bleeding. Again, Jeff misses him. The third time it happens, Bob comes back pretty messed up - he's got a couple of broken bones and is almost unconscious. Luckily, Jeff finally catches him and says, "Holy cow, what happened? Was the cord too long?"

Bob looks confused and says, "No, the cord was fine... but what the heck is a pinata?"