Foreign jokes

How many Man U. fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to change the lightbulb, and one to drive down to Kent to pick him/her up.

What do you call Vasoline in German?
Vienerschlide.

This elderly Newfoundland fisherman is on his deathbed and summons his 3 sons to his bedside. "Well boys, the time is near, and when I pass I'd like to be buried at sea." So the boys agreed. A few days after his passing, the local front page read, "Local Fishermen Were Shocked Today When Their Nets Brought in Patrick McRay in a Coffin, 3 Shovels and the Bodies of His Three Sons... Funeral arrangements haven't yet been made, however, it is believed all wished to be buried at sea."

Father: Son at your age, Winston Churchill used be up and out for his morning walk at 5 a.m..

Son: Dad, at your age, he had become the Prime Minister of England.