Foreign jokes

"Dukakis-Bentsen in '92"

"If you don't like the way I reign get out of small, neighboring countries"

"Bomb me, I need the insurance"

"Shi'ites happen"

"Oh great," Saddam said, "I don't have time for this Genie nonsense."

"Oh wait," said the Genie, "You have to let me grant you three wishes or I'll be trapped in that stupid lamp for another ten thousand years."

"Ok" said Saddam, so he wished that the Genie would give him three American women.

So the next morning when he woke up, after the Genie had realized who this man was and after the Genie had granted the wishes, Tanya Harding, Garcella Bevoux, and Hillary Clinton layed next to him. His knee was bashed in, his penis was gone, and he had no health insurance.

A: Neither knew when to pull out!

There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy's face. Then he ran back.

The guy with the box said, "I'll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."

After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man's face, then dashed back.

The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, the after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.

He said, "If you spit in my face again, I'm going to cut your pecker off."

The leprechaun laughed and said, "Leprechauns don't have peckers."

Then the man said, "If you don't have peckers, then how do you pee?"

"By spitting," said the leprechaun.