Foreign jokes

There was a man from Leek
Who instead of a nose had a beak.
It grew quite absurd, till he looked like a bird
He migrates at the end of next week.

This small Latino man walks into a bar, sits, and orders a beer. A big man comes in, taps him on his shoulder, and says, "You're sitting in my seat!"

The same Spanish man ignores him and orders another beer. The man again taps him on his shoulder, and tells him he's sitting in his seat.

The same Spanish man gets up, leans over the seat, and says. "I don't see your name on it."

He sits down again and orders still another beer. "The man says...I know Karate!"

The small Latino man says, "I know JUDO! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A GUN! JU DON'T KNOW IF I HAVE A KNIFE!"

This blonde woman went to Canada to seek her fortune as a lumberjack. She met a foreman of a logging organization who offered to give her a job.

"Now I hope you realize we expect you to cut down at least 100 trees a day," the foreman told her. The blonde woman didn't see this as a problem, so she went out with the Chainsaw and did her best.

She came back sweating like a pig. 'Christ, how many trees did you cut down?' asked the foreman.

'6' she replied.

'What!? You have to do beter than that. Get up earlier tommorow.' The foreman said. So she did. Out she went with the chainsaw, she came back that night exhausted.

'How many this time?' asked the foreman.

'12' she said.

The foreman says, 'That does it. I'm coming out there with you tommorow morning.'
The next morning, the foreman reaches the first tree and says, 'This is how to cut down trees really quickly.' He pulls the rope on the chainsaw and it gives off a loud BRRRRRRUM. He notices the blonde is looking at him frantically. So he asks her what's wrong. She replies, 'What the hell is that?'

An American businessman is on a business trip in Japan and hires a hooker. The whole night, this Japanese hooker keeps screaming: "Hoshimota! Hoshimota!" He can't quite remember what the word means, but he's sure he's pleased the hooker to best of his ability. The next morning, he goes to play a game of golf with his Japanese business partner when he makes a hole-in-one. Everyone is congratulating him in Japanese and he can't think anything to say but "HOSHIMOTA!" Concerned, his partner turns to him

"What do you mean it's in the wrong hole?"