Foreign jokes

Juan comes up to the Mexican border on his bicycle. He's got two large bags over his shoulders.

The guard stops him and says, "What's in the bags?"

"Sand," answered Juan.

The guard says, "We'll just see about that get off the bike." The guard takes the bags and rips them apart; he empties them out and finds nothing in them but sand.

He detains Juan overnight and has the sand analyzed, only to discover that there is nothing but pure sand in the bags.

The guard releases Juan, puts the sand into new bags, hefts them onto the man's shoulders, and lets him cross the border.

A week later, the same thing happens. The guard asks, "What have you got?"

"Sand," says Juan.

The guard does his thorough examination and discovers that the bags contain nothing but sand.He gives the sand back to Juan, and Juan crosses the border on his bicycle.

This sequence of events if repeated every day for three years. Finally, Juan doesn't show up one day and the guard meets him in a Cantina in Mexico.

"Hey, Buddy," says the guard, "I know you are smuggling something. It's driving me crazy. It's all I think about..... I can't sleep. Just between you and me, what are you smuggling?"

Juan sips his beer and says, "Bicycles."

As usual, things were not going well at the United Nations. Thus, many visiting ambassadors had to room together. It just so happend that Vladimir, the Russian Ambassador, and Umballa, the Zambian Ambassador, were sharing a suite. To pass the time, Vladimir introduced his fellow dignitary to the Russian game of roulette. He produced an antique Soviet revolver, and a single bullet. It took a while, but he was finally able to explain the gist of the game to Umballa. Intrigued and excited, Umballa loved the game. By the time the U.N. meeting was over, the two had become fast friends. As they parted company at the airport, Umballa told Vladimir, 'One day, you must visit my country, and try our version of your roulette.'
A year later, Vladimir was in Zambia, and looked up his old friend. Umballa remembered him, and welcomed him with open arms.
'I have come, my comrade, to try your game.'
'Very well. Come with me.' Umballa took his friend before six, buck-naked bush women. 'Pick one. Any one. And she will give you a blowjob.'
'But my friend, where is the danger in this?'
Umballa replied with a toothy smile, 'One of them is a cannibal.'

What would you call an Arab who owns a harem of cows?

A milk sheik!

Ole was on his death bed. But before he died, he wanted to have one last taste of lefse (potato crepe). Even as weak as he was, he was able to crawl out of bed and go down the stairs to the kitchen. After about 20 minutes of agonizing pain he reached the kitchen. Opening the refrigerator door he slowly reached for the lefse. He was just about to grab it when suddenly a hand came out from nowhere, slapped his hand, and a voice boomed out, “Ole, that's for the Funeral!”