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greg norman
 
 
Why do women like making love to Greg Norman, the Australian golfer?

Because he always finishes second!

top 10 reasons to live in alberta
 
 
1. Big Rock
2. Preston Manning
3. Tax is 7 percent instead of approx. 200 percent
4. The Premier is a fat alcoholic with a grade 4 education
5. Flames vs. Oilers
6. Stamps vs. Eskies
7. You can exploit almost any natural resource you can think of
8. Eventually, it will be your town's turn to ban VLT's
9. The Americans below you are all in anti-government militia groups
10. You can attempt to murder your rich oil tycoon husband and get away with it
think you're secret agent material?
 
 
Three men are at the FBI Building for a job interview. The interviewing FBI agent tells the first man, 'To be in the FBI you must be loyal, dedicated, and give us your all. Your wife is in the next room. I want you to go in there and shoot her with this gun.'

The man takes the gun, hesitates, and says, 'Sorry, I can't do it.'

The next interviewee enters the office and the agent tells him the same thing he told the first guy. The second man takes the gun, walks into the room, and walks out. 'Sorry, I can't.' he says.

The last man enters the office and the inverviewer said yet again explains the test.' The man takes the gun and goes into the room. The Agent hears 6 shots, silence, then a lot of screaming.

The man comes out of the room and says, 'Someone loaded the gun with blanks, so I beat her to death with the curtain railing!'

linguistic lapses
 
 
In a Bangkok dry-cleaner's shop: Drop your trousers here for best results.
Outside a Hong Kong dress shop: Ladies have fits upstairs.
In a Copenhagen airline office: We take your bags & send them in all directions.
In a Rome laundry: Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend your afternoon having a good time.
Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand: Would you like to ride own your own ass?

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