Foreign jokes

There was an Englishman an Irishman and a Scotsman. They all worked on the top of a cliff and the Englishman said, “If I have cheese in my sandwich tomorrow I'll jump off this cliff!”

The Irishman said, “If I have ham tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff!”

The Scotsman said, “If I have jam in my sandwich tomorrow, I'll jump off the cliff!

It was the next day, and they all had to jump off as the Englishman had cheese the Irishman had ham and the Scotsman had jam!"

A week later, it was the funeral and the Scottish lady and the English lady said, "Why didn't they just tell us they didn't like what we put in their sandwiches?"

And the Irish lady said, “I dont know why my husband jumped off the cliff he made his own sandwiches!”

What's the difference between David Beckham and an airplane model kit?

One's a glueless kit and the other's a clueless git!

A man was heading to England and his next-door neighbor Mrs. Dunn had just sent her son Olmos off to England a week ago. He hadn't called since he was there, so she asked the man to get him to call her. She knew he was staying in a big white house so she told him that.

When he arrived in England, the man asked the first person he saw for the big white house. Thinking he meant the outhouse, the Brit said, 'It is in the middle of the park.' So the man went to the park and saw a white house in the center.

He knocked on the door and said, 'Are you Olmos Dunn?'

A voice came from inside, 'Yeah, I just have to find the toilet paper.'

Did you hear about the Irish lamp post?
It peed on the dog.