Foreign jokes

Canada's worst air disaster: Canada's worst air disaster occurred today when a small two-seater Cessna crashed into a cemetery early this afternoon in central Newfoundland. Newfie search and rescue workers have recovered 826 bodies so far and expect that number to climb as digging continues into the evening.

Saddam Hussein phoned President Bush and said, "George, I called you because I had this incredible dream last night. I could see all of America, and it was beautiful and on top of every building, there was a beautiful banner."

Bush asked, "What was on the banner?"

Saddam responded, "It said Allah is God, and God is Allah."

Bush said, "You know, Saddam, I'm really glad you called, because last night I had a dream too. I could see all of Baghdad, and it was even more beautiful than before the war. It had been completely rebuilt, and on every building there was also a beautiful banner."

Saddam said, "What was on the banner?"

Bush replied, "I really don't know. I don't read Hebrew."

One day Saddam Hussein was walking in the desert and he stubbed his toe on some hard object. He bent over to pick it up and a Genie popped out.

"Oh great," Saddam said, "I don't have time for this Genie nonsense."

"Oh wait," said the Genie, "You have to let me grant you three wishes or I'll be trapped in that stupid lamp for another ten thousand years."

"Ok" said Saddam, so he wished that the Genie would give him three American women.

So the next morning when he woke up, after the Genie had realized who this man was and after the Genie had granted the wishes, Tanya Harding, Garcella Bevoux, and Hillary Clinton layed next to him. His knee was bashed in, his penis was gone, and he had no health insurance.

One day a man walked in a bar with a box. He sat down, opened the box and out popped a leprechaun. The man told the bartender, "I want a pint of beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."

There was man sitting at the end of the bar watching all of this and, after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar and spit in the guy's face. Then he ran back.

The guy with the box said, "I'll have another beer and a shot of whiskey for my buddy here."

After the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he again ran to the end of the bar and spit in the man's face, then dashed back.

The guy with the box ordered another beer for himself and another shot for the leprechaun. Again, the after the leprechaun drank his shot of whiskey, he ran down to the end of the bar. But this time the man was waiting for him and he grabbed the leprechaun and held him in the air.

He said, "If you spit in my face again, I'm going to cut your pecker off."

The leprechaun laughed and said, "Leprechauns don't have peckers."

Then the man said, "If you don't have peckers, then how do you pee?"

"By spitting," said the leprechaun.