Children jokes

A kid stands up in class and says, "Teacher, teacher, does honey have legs?"

And the teacher replies, "No, why do you ask?"

"Because," says the little boy, "Last night I heard my dad saying, 'honey open your legs, honey open your legs!'"

Never trust a dog to watch your food. - Patrick, age 10
When your dad is mad and asks you, “Do I look stupid?” don't answer him. - Michael, 14
Never tell your mom her diet's not working. - Michael, 14
Stay away from prunes. - Randy, 9
Never allow your three-year old brother in the same room as your school assignment. - Traci, 14
Puppies still have bad breath, even after eating a tic tac. - Andrew, 9
Never hold a dust buster and a cat at the same time. - Kyoyo, 9
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk. - Armir, 9
If you want a kitten, start out by asking for a horse. - Naomi, 15
Felt markers are not good to use as lipstick. - Lauren, 9
Don't pick on your sister when she's holding a baseball bat. - Joel, 10
Never try to baptize a cat. - Eileen, 8 '

What's the difference between boogers and broccoli?

Kids don't eat broccoli!

One Sunday morning, a little girl and her mother go to church. Halfway through, the little girl tells her mother she's going to be sick. Her mother tells her to go in the bushes behind the church. The girl leaves and comes back after about five minutes. Her mother asks her if she threw up.

'Yes," the girl says. "But I didn't have to go all the way 'round the back. There was a box near the front door that said 'For the Sick.'