Children jokes

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the definition of
A first-grade teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word fascinate in it. A little girl stands up and says, 'Walt Disney World is so fascinating.'

The teacher says, 'No, that's not correct. I said, fascinate.'

Another little girl stands up and says, 'There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life.'

The teacher again says, 'No, the word is fascinate.'

So a little boy in the back of the room stands up and says, 'Well, my sister has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the ten buttons on her shirt.'

things children have learned
No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.

first cut is the deepest
Once upon a time, two little boys, Sammy and Tim, were sharing a room in the hospital. As they were getting to know each other a little bit, Sammy eventually asked Tim, "Hey, what're you in for?"

"I'm getting my tonsils out. I'm a little worried," said Tim.

"Oh, don't worry about it," Sammy said. "I had my tonsils out and it was a blast! I got to eat all the ice cream and Jell-O I wanted for two weeks!"

"Oh yeah?' replied Tim. "That's not half-bad. So, Sammy, how about you? What're you here for?"

"I'm getting a circumcision, whatever that is," Sammy answered.

"Oh my god, circumcision? I got one of those when I was a baby and I couldn't walk for two years!"

ode to a glow worm
I wish I was a glow worm.

A glow worm's never glum.

It's hard to be downhearted, When the sun shines out your bum!

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