Children jokes

There was this teacher who was teaching young kids the different types of animals, she showed them the picture of a giraffe, and asked them what it was. Nobody answered..so she gave them a clue, 'It has a long neck.' One kid answered, "Giraffe!" Pleased, the teacher showed a picture of a zebra. Nobody answered it again, so she gave them a clue. 'This animal has stripes.' "Zebra!" one kid answered. So she put up another one, that of a deer. The teacher could not think of a clue..but suddenly she came up with one!..she asked them 'what does your mother call your father?' Suddenly one child got up and answered 'HORNY BASTARD!'

One Sunday morning a little girl in her Sunday best was running so she wouldn't be late for church.

As she ran she kept praying, "Dear God, please son't let me be late to church. Please don't let me be late to church...." And, as she was running she tripped and fell.

When she got back up she began praying again, "Please, God don't let me be late to church -- but don't shove me either!

A first-grade teacher asks her students to give her a sentence with the word fascinate in it. A little girl stands up and says, 'Walt Disney World is so fascinating.'

The teacher says, 'No, that's not correct. I said, fascinate.'

Another little girl stands up and says, 'There's so much fascination when it comes to sea life.'

The teacher again says, 'No, the word is fascinate.'

So a little boy in the back of the room stands up and says, 'Well, my sister has such big boobs that she can only fasten eight of the ten buttons on her shirt.'

A 6'4' ninth grader was acting up in class.

His teacher looked at him and said, 'Act your age, not your shoe size'.

The boy looks down at his size 14 shoes, then says, 'But they're the same.'