Children jokes

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poor boy's christmas
What does a poor boy get for Christmas?

Your bike!

top ten signs your kid is a wizard - david letterm
10. When he enters a room there is a burst of purple smoke

9. You say, "Do you think that lawn is gonna mow itself?" But then it does

8. Your child gets busted shoplifting a newt

7. Can turn lead into gold, but he can't remember to take out the trash .

6. He wears shiny red satin robes -- and you're just praying he's a wizard

5. Favorite discount electronics chain: The Wiz

4. Refers to Halloween as "amateur night"

3. He's only 12, but somehow he's dating Gwyneth Paltrow

2. His homework ate the dog

1. You catch him in the bathroom polishing his wand

grandma's birthday
What do you give an 80 yr-old grandma for her birthday?

Mikey, he'll eat anything!

Peter's mother has three kids.

The first two are Tic and Tac.

What's the third? Peter!

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