Children jokes

The teacher asks him again what is long and yellow and Bobby says, 'An apple!' The teacher says, 'No Bobby, but at least you you were thinking.'

Bobby then looked down in his desk and asked the teacher, 'What is 4 inches long, yellow and has red on the tip?' The teacher says, 'BOBBY!! Is that what I think it is? A penis?' Bobby says, 'No, it's a match, but at least I know you were thinking!!'

The first boy says, "My name's Tommy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions."

The second boy says, "My name's Billy and I was trying to feed peanuts to the lions."

The third boy says, "My name is Peanuts."

"Horrible," said Johnny. "A car hit my cat in the ass!"

"Rectum," said the teacher. "Say rectum."

"Rectum? Damn near killed 'em!"

No matter how hard you try, you can't baptize cats.
When your Mom is mad at your dad, don't let her brush your hair.
If your sister hits you, don't hit her back. They always catch the second person.
Never ask your 3-year old brother to hold a tomato.
You can't trust dogs to watch your food.
Reading what people write on desks can teach you a lot.
Don't sneeze when someone is cutting your hair.
Puppies still have bad breath even after eating a tic tac.
Never hold a dustbuster and a cat at the same time.
School lunches stick to the wall.
You can't hide a piece of broccoli in a glass of milk.
Don't wear polka-dot underwear under white shorts.
The best place to be when you are sad is in Grandma's lap.