Children jokes

What's red and furry and tackles people?

Tackle Me Elmo!

Little girl: "Why does your son say, 'Cluck, cluck, cluck?'"
Mother: "Because he thinks he's a chicken."
Little girl: "Why don't you tell him he's not a chicken?"
Mother: "Because we need the eggs."

A nun at a Catholic school is asking her students what they want to be when they grow up. Little Mary declares, "I want to be a prostitute." "What did you say?" asks the nun. "I said I want to be a prostitute," Mary repeats. "Oh, thank heavens," says the nun. "I thought you said a Protestant!"

Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo?

Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first.

Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.

Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p?

Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!