Children jokes

Q: Why is the math book always upset?

A: Because it has a lot of problems.

A nun at a Catholic school is asking her students what they want to be when they grow up. Little Mary declares, "I want to be a prostitute." "What did you say?" asks the nun. "I said I want to be a prostitute," Mary repeats. "Oh, thank heavens," says the nun. "I thought you said a Protestant!"

One day little Danny was in Sunday School, and the preacher asked what part of the body went to heaven first.

Susie said your heart, 'cause you need it to love.

Richie said your head, 'cause you need it to think.

Little Danny raised his hand and the pastor called on him reluctantly. Danny said, "Your feet."

Confused, the pastor asked why.

Danny replied, "I was walking past my mom's room last night and she had her feet in the air and then she screamed, "Oh God, I'm coming!"

Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo?

Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first.

Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.

Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p?

Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!