Children jokes

A man and woman had a son but when he was born all he was was a head. The doctors didn't expect him to live very long. But the boy survived, so on his eighteenth birthday his father took him out to a bar for a drink.

The father ordered his son a scotch and when the boy drank it, out popped an arm. He was ecstatic so he drank another shot, and out popped another arm. Now the boy was in glee, so he drank another shot, and out popped a torso. And so on and so forth, until there was a whole body.

The boy was so happy that he ran out of the bar and into the street and got hit by a truck, killing him instantly. A drunkard in the corner looked at the father and said, 'He shoulda quit while he was a head!'

Q: How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two, but no one knows how they got in there.

"It's awful scary in these woods, mister!"

"You're telling me, I have to walk out of them by myself!"

Three men were flying in a plane, when they decided to drop stuff on the town they were flying over. One dropped a book, one dropped a brick, and one dropped a bomb, just for fun. They then landed, to survey the damage they caused. The first thing they saw was a small child, crying and holding a book. Then they saw another small child, crying and holding a brick. Then they saw a small child laughing his head off.

"What's so funny?" they asked him.

"It was great," he said. "I farted and my neighbor's house blew up."