Children jokes

"You know," Mom said, "it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."

Susie, still crying, said, "What would God want with a dead dog?"

Answer: ell-if-i-no (Hell if I know)

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"

Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."

Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think"

Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"

Teacher: "Sure."

Little Johnny: "There are three women at the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"

Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."

Little Johnny; "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."

A: They're the ones with the stretchmarks on their lips.