Children jokes

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mom and dad were trying to console suzie...
 
 
Mom and Dad were trying to console Susie, whose dog had recently died.

"You know," Mom said, "it's not your fault that the dog died. He's probably up in heaven right now, having a grand old time with God."

Susie, still crying, said, "What would God want with a dead dog?"

elephant and rhino
 
 
What do you get when you cross an elephant and a rhino?

Answer: ell-if-i-no (Hell if I know)

little johnny answers the question
 
 
Teacher: "Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Listen carefully: Four crows are on the fence. The farmer shoots one. How many are left?"

Little Johnny: "None."

Teacher: "Can you explain that answer?"

Little Johnny: "One is shot, the others fly away. There are none left."

Teacher: "Well, that isn't the correct answer, but I like the way you think"

Little Johnny: "Teacher, can I ask a question?"

Teacher: "Sure."

Little Johnny: "There are three women at the ice cream parlor. One is licking, one is biting and one is sucking her ice cream cone. Which one is married?"

Teacher: "The one sucking the cone."

Little Johnny; "No. The one with the wedding ring on, but I like the way you think."

hide the duke
 
 
A boy was meeting his girlfriend's parents for the first time for dinner. After dinner, his girlfriend and her mother left the room to do the dishes, leaving him with the father and the dog Duke, who was sitting underneath the boy's chair. Unfortunately, it was a large dinner and he really had to fart. He stealthily let out a quiet, but audible, fart.

"Duke!" the dad yelled.

"This is great!" the boy thought. "He thinks the dog is farting!" So he let out another one.

"Duke!" the father barked. The boy thought he was homefree so he let everything out at once in a really loud and smelly fart.

"Duke! Get out of there before the boy sh*ts on you!"


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