Children jokes

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Children


kite tails and rejection
 
 
One day a father and son are flying a kite. The kite is going in circles and crashing. The father comforts the son and the mother yells, 'You need more tail!'

The father then tells the son, 'Son, I will never understand your mom. Last night when we were having 'fun', I asked her for more tail and she told me to go fly a kite.'

the boss
 
 
One day a man goes to a pet shop to buy a parrot. The assistant takes the man to the parrot section and asks the man to choose one. The man asks, 'How much is the yellow one?'

The assistant says, '$2000.' The man is shocked and asks the assistant why it's so expensive. The assistant explains, 'This parrot is a very special one. He knows typewriting and can type really fast.'

'What about the green one?' the man asks.

The assistant says, 'He costs $5000 because he knows typewriting and can answer incoming telephone calls and takes notes.'

'What about the red one?' the man asks.

The assistant says, 'That one's $10,000.'

The man says, 'What does HE do?'

The assistant says, 'I don't know, but the other two call him boss.'

lima
 
 
What did the lima bean say before it went into the pot?

Sufferin' succotash!

mommy, mommy!
 
 
"Mommy, Mommy! Where have all your scabs gone?"
"Shut up and eat your corn flakes."

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